Saturday, November 29, 2008

Banned From Wal-Mart



This one's for you Gord.

Plse see comments to understand!

*****



I'll be back in a little while.
Need to get my act together first :)

*****

Here's a giggle to hold you over.
Sent to me from Jess, my daughter in law.
Enjoy!


BANNED FROM WAL-MART...........

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Morrison,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Morrison are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

*****

This is lookin good now that I'm promoting the correct link. (lol) I think the Admin messed me up originally, but it seems to be working now. Not a big deal.

Am talking about MyNetWealthTeam
Like I said yesterday, without promoting, I made $15. So if you could get at least a few referrals of your own, you'll see what I mean. Should pay off nicely!

*****

Oh boy Oh boy Oh boy.
It snowed last night and I don't know what to do with myself today.

*****

LAST REMINDER: Joe at Surf2Sawa is doing the refunds now for those NOT in Profit. Please login and check your account. When you click on the Redeem button, you'll know what's going on. OK? ok.

*****

Can't forget my Surfing at 12DailyClub. Am waiting patiently for a payout that Admin will make in 24-48 hours. If I get it today, I'll re-upgrade today and will start the process all over again. Will let you know ASAP :))




10 comments:

HermitJim said...

Now THAT is funny...! Sounds like a man with a plan to me!!

Many thanks to the DIL for passing it on to you...

Have a good day...

js said...

That was a good laugh blondie! I enjoyed it. Thinking of stealing it for my blog. Hmmmm....

blondie said...

Hey Jim,
Yeah it made me giggle this morning when I read it. Could just imagine my Son doing that stuff. Too funny.

Johnski,
Steal away!!
The more people that get a laugh, the better :D

Thanks you guys for dropping in to visit me today.
C'ya Later :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Judy, what is so funny to me about "Banned from Walmart" is that one of the families at my church last name is Morrison and i could actually see the husband doing everything in that post. Thanks fpr sharing.

Anonymous said...

Brightened up my day..thanks Judy.

The video reminds me of the brylcream(I think that's right)days in the 60's. When we lived in
California..my older brother would
slick his hair back with the
stuff..white turtleneck, black
pants, white socks and shiny black
shoes. He used to wear one of
these silver or gold chains as
well and then go out crusin'. I
always think of that when I hear
music from that era.

Gord

blondie said...

Hey Greg,
Glad you find the "Morrison's" so funny :))
Yeah, we're quite a handful once you get to know us! lol

Gord,
Couldn't resist the Brylcreem note. Looks like they are still selling it if you can believe that! I even remember their commercial from the 60's ... "Brylcreem, A little dab will do you..." hahaha

Glad I could make you guys smile today!
Have a good one!

Anonymous said...

Blondie - you certainly did provide some smiles today.Thanks !Likely we all know of someone who resembles that person in Wal-Mart.

Hate to boast but we don't have any snow as of 11:30 pm - here in Alberta. And I admit I am liking it.
Take care.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Judy,

My Dad, 87 years old now, still
uses it. When he comes for a
visit..it's there by the bathroom
sink in the morning. Mistaked it
for toothpaste when I was
young "gaffer". Took awhile before
I got it rinsed out of my mouth.

Gord

La Crona said...

We all have different sense of humour!

This was too funny!

The light is shining bright!

blondie said...

Hi Myrna,
Glad you enjoyed the funnies :)

Gord, too funny about the toothpaste, yuck! hehe

Mattias,
Laughs are always good.
Am glad we could all share them.

Later :))